The Subtle Art of A Thousand Kisses
September 1, 2025
The Subtle Art of Life
November 1, 2025The Subtle Art
of Teenaging
by Charlene Efiong
"...at least not until you look back at when you’d dance in the rain at eight, or when you’d climb trees or race for absolutely no reason other than how exhilarating it was."
Let’s take a look at the word “adulting”. The slang, now used to describe activities typically associated with adulthood feels like it needs a companion. It needs something to clash with its meaning, and I choose my own; the future word “teenaging”. Now adulting is to adulthood as teenaging is to adolescence. I realize that adolescing could also probably fit, but not necessarily in the context I want it to mean. Plus, I’m a teenager, and quite frankly I’m teenaging a bit here.
Also, what I want teenaging to mean is not just going through adolescence, but being adolescent. This period is the most important period in our lives, it’s the bridge between adulthood and childhood. And while we might have been cast in our various moulds in our childhood, we are being refined and polished before we are released into the world as adults. This process might well pass the adolescent age for some, but generally falls within that period. Of course, it doesn’t ever really end, but most of it is done during this period, and that determines what type of adults we’ll be.
Now what should teenaging be about? It should be about enjoying those years when you feel like an adult, but you’re not, those years that you feel eventual responsibilities creeping towards you, but they’re not quite there yet. Some people don’t get the chance to enjoy these years, and that might or might not be their fault, but if you do get the chance to enjoy them then I suggest you do. It’s not about being careless and wasting the years, but it’s more about allowing yourself to still be a child even though you’re not, but you’re not an adult either. It’s not about acting as ignorantly irresponsible as a toddler, but about allowing yourself to bask in the little time you have without that many responsibilities. It’s about appreciating the things in life you take for granted; like the amount of love one has to have to make sacrifices for you, like the fact that they let you be you, and that’s the point of the sacrifice so you grow and be some wonderful light in the world. It’s about making memories that are your own, and that you’ll carry for the rest of your life to remember this brief period. It’s about first crushes and the rush of emotion we get when we foolishly think we know what love is. It’s about finding out your true identity and purpose, and making friends that match that. It’s about learning what you love and what you hate. And most important of all, it’s about change.
Why change? We grow so much during this period that we can’t help, but change. And as we get older and more different our lives begin to change and become more complex, and while that complexity can be confusing, most of us eventually learn to conquer it, and go with it, even commanding it at times. But those changes we don’t notice, at least not until you look back at when you’d dance in the rain at eight, or when you’d climb trees or race for absolutely no reason other than how exhilarating it was. Once you notice them, you realize how much time has passed, and how much you have grown. And it’s a beautiful, but scary moment having your whole life ahead of you. It’s scary because you don’t know what to expect, but beautiful because you have so many dreams, which you want to live out.
This isn’t for the younger generation, this is for the 40+ audience, maybe even the 40+ at heart. This is a reminder that you were a child, then a teenager, and whether you enjoyed it or not, you should let the kids enjoy it. Let them know that this period is wonderful, and they should take nothing for granted. That they should enjoy every moment, not wildly, but because they know not everyone is as lucky, and that it’s not forever. Let them know the difference between reckless abandon and enjoying this period, because it’s not about forgetting responsibilities, it’s about enjoying the fact that you’re still able to feel like a child, cared for and mostly sheltered, but you also are looked upon like an almost adult, and life can’t really get to you quite the same just yet.
And you, dear reader, if you’re a teenager, don’t forget to teenage because it doesn’t last forever. If you’re not a teenager then thank you if you found this enlightening.
