The Subtle Art of Outlasting Adversity
April 1, 2025The Subtle Art
of Subtlety
by Charles Efiong
"Sometimes, the truth is hiding in the soft whispers, the sideways glances, the little moments we forget to notice because we’re too busy waiting for something dramatic to happen."
I live in a country that adores loudness.
From Lagos traffic that honks like it’s trying to win an argument,
To politicians who speak in capital letters, their words dripping with Willful Intimidation and Knee-jerk Exaggerations,
to music that vibrates your ribs before it touches your ears,
Nigeria is not for the weak.
But here’s the thing nobody tells you while growing up in this beautiful chaos:
Life is art and every good artwork needs contrast.
The bold strokes and the fine lines.
The spotlight and the shadows.
The shouts and the whispers.
Sometimes, the truth is hiding in the soft whispers, the sideways glances, the little moments we forget to notice because we’re too busy waiting for something dramatic to happen. The world teaches us to chase the big things, big achievements, big destinations, big declarations, but sometimes the most honest stories are tucked inside the small things we overlook.
Subtlety is not silence.
It is attention.
It is the art of seeing the world not just as it shouts, but as it breathes.
Subtlety isn’t the opposite of loudness.
It’s the partner that makes loudness meaningful.
One is the drumbeat, the other is the violin.
One calls your attention, the other keeps your soul listening.
And in the middle of that metaphoric dance that pushes and pulls, you find the beauty of simply being human.
The Beauty of the Little Things
You’d be surprised how much life hides in what seems insignificant:
The way an elderly woman adjusts her wrapper before crossing the road.
The quiet pride in a father’s eyes when his son speaks for the first time.
The way a friend says “I’m fine” a little too quickly.
The dance between palm trees when the harmattan breeze is feeling mischievous.
That soft “hmmmm” before someone says your name, the one that reveals more than the name itself.
The gentle way someone says “sorry” when they bump into you at the market.
The sun melting softly on your skin at 4 p.m., as if it’s apologizing for being too hot earlier.
The hush that washes over your spirit when your neighbour finally switches off their generator that has been growling all night.
These are the things that never trend on Twitter, never make headlines, never get applause. Yet they carry the weight of realness. They hold the fingerprints of humanity.
Loudness may paint the background of our lives, but subtlety fills in the tiny details that make the picture worth staring at.
Being Young, Nigerian, and Quietly Profound
To be young in Nigeria is to be caught between two worlds:
The world screaming “Hustle!”
And the world whispering, “Wait. Look. Observe.”
Most of us learn early how to survive noise.
What we rarely learn is how to survive silence,
how to sit with our thoughts,
how to pay attention to the texture of a day,
how to appreciate the ridiculous, the curious, the quietly profound moments that shape us.
There’s a kind of magic in slowing down long enough to notice that your life is not a blockbuster film, it’s a collection of small scenes, each one important in a way no one else may fully understand.
Playfulness Is Also Profound
Being Nigerian often forces us to be serious. Too serious.
Bills are serious.
Government is serious.
NEPA is too serious.
But subtlety has a playful side too, a mischievous charm that turns ordinary moments into little treasures.
It’s in the inside jokes we share with ourselves.
It’s in the dramatic sigh you give when your food finally arrives.
It’s in that brief second when you make eye contact with a friend and instantly understand the joke without saying a word.
Life is richer when you allow softness and humor to exist side by side.
When you permit yourself to be a little quirky, a little curious, a little less burdened by the performance of adulthood.
Why Subtlety Matters
Because subtlety teaches you how to see.
To understand the small notes that make the loud notes worthwhile.
To appreciate the gentle transitions between the dramatic moments.
To notice the texture of your own growth.
To hear the tiny beat your heart plays when the world is not watching.
Subtlety isn’t trying to replace loudness.
It’s reminding you that loudness becomes deeper when it has something soft beside it.
It is the dance between the bold and the quiet, the dramatic and the delicate, the obvious and the hidden, that turns your life into something beautifully, unapologetically human.
Subtlety is an art; one we practice simply by paying attention to our own beautifully human lives.
